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Not in the mood?
Because emotional connection and sexual closeness are inextricably linked in relationships, problems in one area frequently destabilize the other. And for each couple, the “chicken-or-the-egg” link between sex and emotional attachment may be different. Some people’s desires to be sexual stem from a need to be emotionally attached. Others, however, find their way to emotional vulnerability through sexuality, perhaps as a result of their history, physiology, or attachment styles. Not in the mood is something like not entertain you senses.
Because of custom, culture, gender, or possibly because that partner’s preferred way of seeking attention is through touch, tenderness, and sex, one person often appears to be identified as the sexual initiator in a relationship. When one person takes the lead in the couple’s lovemaking, they are more likely to experience intimate rejection. Having a sexual bid rejected or ignored can be especially painful because initiating sex requires such risking and revealing of oneself in primal need. A positive answer is essential for a good marriage, but a critical or absent response can be detrimental to the partnership.
Every partner who initiates sex expects a positive, enthusiastic response from their spouse. However, given a person’s state of mind or the nature of the relationship, the bid may not arrive at the correct time or be welcomed. Fortunately, we can reject the bid without harming our emotional bond if we are honest, vulnerable, and direct.
When it comes to women, some find it exceedingly difficult to say no to sex or not in the mood. Some women are scared that denying their man’s desire for sex may damage his manly ego. This leads us to discuss how women can easily decline sex without feeling guilty or worried about hurting their relationships. Because, let’s face it, there are moments when you’re simply not in the mood, and no matter what you do, you don’t feel like getting intimate.
Some girls facing these problems also:
- My boyfriend doesn’t stop when I say NO.
- Why do guys get mad when you don’t sleep with them?
- My boyfriend is always in the mood.
- He gets angry when I tell him how I feel.
5 tips to help you decline sex without hurting your partner.
“I don’t feel like it today,” you can simply say.
Telling your partner that you’re not in the mood today is as simple as it gets. Believe us when we say that it may not even sound as horrible as you imagine. When you’re open and honest with your spouse, they’ll understand and won’t take it personally. Early warning makes it easier for a man to accept the fact that sex will not occur. Just remember to express it politely because it makes a big difference.
Inform him that you’re on your period.
There’s no need to feel embarrassed about your menstrual cycle. It’s out of your hands, and even if your partner is in a good mood, the cramping and mood swings are likely making you feel even worse. It’s quite appropriate to inform your spouse that you’re on your period; he’ll accept it without complaint rather than become upset.
Let him know you won’t be able to do it now, but you can do it tomorrow.
When you tell your boyfriend you’re not in the mood for sex today, he may assume it won’t happen soon or that you’ve lost interest. This is why you should add a sentence to it and assure him that you can definitely do it tomorrow. In this manner, instead of worrying about what went wrong with you today, he’ll be looking forward to the next day.
Admit that you’re not quite ready yet and that you’ll need some time.
If you’re a new couple and your partner has been talking about wanting to have sex with you soon, you can always say you’re not ready yet if that’s the case. Make it clear to him that you want to take things slowly and that you’ll need more time to get used to that level of intimacy.
Tell him you’re hurting physically.
You won’t feel like having sex if you’re in agony, no matter how hard you try to persuade yourself otherwise. Simply convince your man that you have a migraine, your back hurts, or you’re physically exhausted and don’t want to put any more effort into having sex. There’s always a way to express something, and if you choose the correct words and tone, you’ll never harm your man’s ego.
What should I do if my girlfriend is not in the mood?
If your girlfriend is not in the mood and does not want to talk, respect that and give her some space. Not everyone wants to open up about everything, and it’s her choice whether she wants to share what’s going on or not.
Both men and women can benefit from common solutions.
With the help of her sex-wise friends, Rachel Kramer Bussel, an author/editor who specializes in erotica and sex writing, compiled a list of tips on how to say “no” when you’re not in the mood (with the help of her sex-wise friends). They came up with some fairly solid, ok, incredibly solid solutions when they worked together:
1.Speak up right away.
Lauren Marie Fleming, a sex blogger known as Queerie Bradshaw , spoke with Bussel about how she takes rejection of her sexual advances personally. To deal with it, her partner will tell her if she isn’t in the mood right away, removing the potential for rejection.
2. Provide a “legitimate reason”
Receiving a genuine reason, rather than just a “No, thanks,” according to Fleming, is preferable. “K, night!” can be really beneficial to your companion. I’ve discovered that giving myself a reason is quite beneficial. I assumed I had done something to turn her off when she would simply turn out the lights and roll over in bed. “
3. Ask again later and request rain checks.
Bussel also discussed how she says no to her 23-year-old husband with Kristina Wright, author of “Bedded Bliss: A Couple’s Guide to Lust Ever After.” Wright says she requires a little time to get in the mood, and she frequently says no right away. Her approach was to answer “no” and then add “ask me later” at the end. It’s difficult to predict if you’ll be in the mood hours or even minutes later while you’re busy. Wright also suggests asking for a rain check.
4. It’s not a bad thing to say no.
A sex and relationship “geek,” Reid Mihalko, explains to Bussel why saying no can be beneficial. Mihalko claims that he occasionally seeks a connection rather than sex. “When any of us says no to a request, we practice responding with, “Thank you for taking care of yourself,” which emphasizes that it’s OK to say no while also quietly converting the rejection into a positive experience. When I know my partner has the freedom to say no, it allows me to trust their yes, so I don’t have to worry about whether or not they’re into it when we do have sex.
5. Advance notification to not in the mood
Bussel, for one, is a huge fan of giving people advance notice. Making a plan helps her get in the mood ahead of time, and being spontaneous isn’t always a good thing, especially when she’s trying to get some sleep. Sure, spur-of-the-moment romance is wonderful, but so is salivating and thinking about it all day.
Conclusion for not in the mood
What Bussel and her companions are trying to imply, I feel, is that you should talk to your partner! Nothing is more frustrating than leaving someone in the dark with no explanation. Talking seems to be the greatest thing you can do in this scenario, whether it’s a rain check, a reason, or even a thank you.
A sexual proposal made at an inopportune time can make us feel uneasy. It’s all about entertain your senses. We can turn towards our partner with a clear explanation of our requirements and reassurance about their desirability and our devotion to their sexual demands. So not in the mood will not be a matter then!
All the information and photo credit goes to respective authors.
